OH Fudgems!
I have a pretty high tolerance for gross things.
I’ve painted my arms with rubber cement just to pull off the gooey-halfdry sheets of elementary-school-ectoplasm.
I’ve done push-ups in dogcrap (mostly by accident).
I eat canned corn with ketchup.
HowEVER, I CANNOT get behind the new Domino’s Fudgems commercial.
Being an insider in the industry, I’ve managed to get my hands on the transcript, which I will so kindly share:
1. Baby-faced, toolbaggish delivery guy comes to the door all smiley and lame.
2. Greets mom and little girl in a way that proves that has never, and will never, get laid.
3. Camera pans to Furry-Block-of-Shit.
4. Delivery Tool says something unexciting about dipping sauce and hands sticky brownie chunk to mom.
5. Mom says something dumb and faux-cheerful, and then quickly proceeds to pat the Furry-Block-of-Shit, only to get shit on her hand.
She titters like an impressionable lamb.
6. Mom pawns off gross brownie to daughter, who eats it and then hugs Furry-Block-of-Shit and tells him that she loves him, only to get covered in shit.
[EYE ON THE BALL, little lady! Did you NOT see what JUST happened to your mom's gross hand?? Also, you have shown me that you clearly have no idea what love is. I mean, I don't know much, but I do know that love is NOT tufted excrement.]
7. Mom and daughter laugh like Stepford Wives. They wave to the Delivery Toolbag with markedly limp wrists. Mom yells “OHHHH FUDGEMS! as supreme final justification of her empty mind and complete lack of acting ability.
aaaaaaaaaaaaand CUT!
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I saw a State Farm commercial today where the guy’s client had his SUV broken into and his basketball team’s unis were stolen. The rep said he drove the kids to the mall, bought them all new uniforms, then drove them to the game and coached them to a win.
Bullshit. He left their asses on the side of the road and went home to watch Monday Night Football.
HA
you’re completely right.
and there’s no way they had a selection of uni sizes (in bulk) at the mall, anyway.
Altruism is a web of lies.
But I did shed a tear when D Wade set up the new basketball goal for the kids, then tossed coach the keys to his Navigator.
(sob!)
Purinethol….
Daniel h. present md purinethol research. Purinethol. Purinethol side effects….