Well, this week Apple came out and announced a recall of the batteries for their more recent Powerbooks and iBooks. Now this has to be one of the least surprising headlines of all time. Not only had Dell already announced a recall of their Sony Laptop Batteries, Sony being the same company that makes Apple’s Laptop batteries, but any man who has ever put a Titanium Powerbook Laptop in their laps will tell you that having children is no longer a concern.

These things are hot, I mean really hot.

How hot you ask?

When future groups of extreme tourists go to Mount Everest and get lost, the first thing we should send them to help them recover is Apple Titanium Powerbooks.

When Hell actually does freeze over and Donny Deutch starts talking about advertising again on the Big Idea, then the Devil will be ordering Apple Titanium Powerbooks to heat things up again.

As the Boy Scouts step into the 21st century their manual will soon replace the sections “Starting a fire with flint” and “starting a fire with two sticks” with a section on “Starting a fire with an Apple Titanium Powerbook.”

Now, don’t get me wrong I love Apple, the company, the philosophy, the interface and both Steves (The Woz and the other one), but, the moment Dell fessed and Sony started doing their Firestone impression I started wondering why Apple hadn’t taken the lead.

Because, as I said before, the moment you put one of these laptops on you lap, it’s no secret that a skin graff might be a good idea.

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