As a copywriter, it’s interesting the variety of writing you get pulled into beyond the confines of pure advertising. In addition to print ads, television, brochures and radio, it’s easy to find yourself writing Powerpoints, annual reports or worse yet mission statements and vision statements.

For those who are lucky enough to be unfamiliar with vision statements and mission statements I’d like to seriously congratulate you on being blessed by whatever deity or cosmic entity you recognize.

First, there’s the mission statement. This was at one point to be the clear statement of what the company’s goals are. Over time and thanks to committees doing their level best, soon many of these statements included phrases and words like:
* Synergy
* Service
* Prioritized
* Focuses
* Core Competencies
* Paradigm Shift
* Qualitative
* Collaborative
* Solutions
* Parity
* Competitive Environment
* Opportunity
* Empowerment

The presence of these words is not a bad thing, but they seemed to exclude words that actually described what the company does to earn money. For example, you have a leading cosmetics company’s mission statement that never included the words, “cosmetics” or “make up.” Just look at Mary Kay Cosmetics’ statement “To give unlimited opportunity to women.” or the Walt Disney Company’s “To make people happy.”

Laudable, yes, but how about Disney at least mention animation, films, TV, amusement parks or even the aggressive marketing of teen pop stars, i.e. Britney Spears. Any one of these would bring a flair of meaning.

When faced with this challenge to logic and good sense, did someone take up the sword to save the mission statements from becoming either New-Speak committee Frankensteins or over simplistic balloons of vapid intentions? No, are you kidding… And have to become a committee chew toy as you loose your last bit of sanity.

Instead, the vision statement was created, seemingly to do the job that the mission statement was meant to do, but was now too busy to do after passing through committee.

And as vision statements seem to walk into the fate that afflicted their mission statement brethren, the next generation of competitive statements, vision declarations, business mantras and corporate affirmations are swelling to take their places.

True, as a writer, my heart weeps at words being rendered meaningless as they are imprisoned in a tide of ever growing corporate gibberish, but also as a writer I need to make a living, put food on the table and a roof over my head as I work on more book-worthy projects. And that is my own personal mission statement.

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