Okay, I admit it. I like reading and listening to business books. From “The Millionaire Next Door” to “Good to Great” to “Freakanomics” to “The Tipping Point” to “Think and Grow Rich” to “The History of Modern Economics,” I’ve read quite a few and I’ve enjoyed most. I even found a reason to laugh at “Who Moved the Cheese,” one book that never gets around to answering its title question. Plus, it’s fun to be a creative who can jump in on those suit conversations. It throws them off just enough to keep things interesting.

That said, I was working my way through “Often Wrong Never Doubt,” the new book by Donny Deutsch. It was going along pretty well until I got to the part about layoffs. The author starts talking about even when you are laying off someone solely because of an economic down turn you’re providing a great motivator and in certain circumstances you may be doing them a FAVOR.

Now, I’ve heard this before in “Good to Great” and a few others and it always strikes me the same way. I want to ask, “who exactly do you think you’re fooling?”

You see I know I’m really outside the target market for most of these books. The target market is really business owners and managers who want to reassure themselves and get a little advice. Telling them what they want to hear on this issue costs authors nothing and makes the readers all the more agreeable if, or when, the authors then lay out their other theories.

But, while firing for bad acts and incompetence is one thing, layoffs caused by bad economic or market forces are somethingelse entirely.

As someone who has seen more rounds of layoffs than I care to think about and been touched first hand on two occasions, I know layoffs are practically a right of passage in advertising.

(And if by some chance you’ve been in advertising more than 8 years and never been laid-off, than hats off and congratulations, you lucky freak! No, really congratulations.)

Don’t get me wrong, I understand that layoffs in some situations are absolutely unavoidable and I also believe firmly that it’s never a good idea to burn a bridge. In fact, I take great pride in the fact that I was able to stay on very good terms with both places that laid me off, and from one I was able to get a steady stream of freelance work.

And yes, I also know of the reality of the lemons-to-whiskey-sours factor, where by people like Modernista’s Lance Jenson turned his layoff from his first job into an incredible opportunity. (If you don’t know what I’m talking about, then go listen to “The Naked Career” podcast by Sally Hogshead and Talent Zoo. It’s an inspiring story and it’s on iTunes.)

All of that said, layoffs still suck. They still hurt. They still sting. They still bite. What gets me is that the way these books talk about it, you’d think that the laid-off people should be throwing a party for their former employers.

It’s as if you should get up and say “Wow! Golly Gee! Thanks boss! I’ve always wanted the chance to learn about the state unemployment system! Wonder if I’ll be able to afford health insurance before my COBRA runs out?”

Also, employers who swing the axe too often run the very real danger of the repeating learning-curve costs and mistakes as either new people are brought in or old people have their responsibilities expanded. You have to wonder what kind of message you send to clients when high-turnover means they keep on having to introduce themselves to the new account and/or creative team members - who are now spread thinner than cream cheese on a jumbo bagel.

While layoffs are a necessary part of business, let’s all do ourselves a freakin’ favor and stop trying to pretend that they are something to celebrate. After all, there are enough things out there legitimately worth celebrating.

Win a new account - celebrate it!

Have a banner year - celebrate it!

Get approval on a TV spot - celebrate it!

Renew a client retainer - celebrate it!

Open your own business - celebrate it!

Show up for the first day of work at a new job - celebrate it!

Give out raises or bonuses to your staff - celebrate it!

Now those are worth celebrating.

PS
I’ll write more on “Often Wrong Never Doubt” later. But, overall it’s a very good read. Also, to be fair, there is a great section on being generous to your employees that all employers could learn from when it comes to company morale.

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